


Lingering Guilt

by fullfirefafar



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, looking back it seems i am incapable of writing happy, my mother didnt raise me to be like this, why am i like this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2016-05-24
Packaged: 2018-06-10 10:56:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6953737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fullfirefafar/pseuds/fullfirefafar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inigo loved his father very much.</p><p> He remembered his father’s laugh; how it bounced with such zest and joy that always, always brought a smile upon his face. He remembered his father’s voice; how it lulled with such love and care that always, always eased his nervous heart. He remembered his father’s smile; how it curved with such glee that always, always splashed red in his vibrant cheeks.</p><p> But most of all, Inigo remembered his father’s hand; how soft they were, clasping against his own, giving him complete reassurance that he was safe; that he was loved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lingering Guilt

**Author's Note:**

> basically a not-so happy father-son oneshot for my suffer bae, jeje. *snaps fingers* this ones for u honey.

 Inigo loved his father very much.  
  
 He remembered his father’s laugh; how it bounced with such zest and joy that always, always brought a smile upon his face. He remembered his father’s voice; how it lulled with such love and care that always, always eased his nervous heart. He remembered his father’s smile; how it curved with such glee that always, always splashed red in his vibrant cheeks.  
  
 But most of all, Inigo remembered his father’s hand; how soft they were, clasping against his own, giving him complete reassurance that he was safe; that he was loved.  
  
 Sandy brown eyes only gazed lazily at the sorcerer sitting across the table. He saw as Henry tilted his head left and right while reading the tome in his hands. He watched as the cheerful man hummed a tune that he too felt familiar with. Chin cozily rested inside the palm of his left hand, Inigo let his mind wander to the memories of his childhood, to the memories that he had long kept buried ever since the dreadful years go by.  
  
 The tiny curve of his smile twitched slightly, tugged down to a line that simply showed traces of a frown.  
  
 While Inigo observed his still blissfully distracted father, he let his thoughts wonder to the day that had changed his life forever.  
  
—  
  
  _“Hey there, Inigo!”_  
  
_The little boy cocked his head to the side at the ecstatic voice, only to see his father plopping a seat right beside him. “D-Dad!” Acting out of reflex, he tightly hugged the storybook closer to his chest. Crossed legs tightened slightly, toes twitching as a simple act to ease his nerves._  
  
_Inigo then saw his father’s smile, as well as heard his laugh, and this finally calmed the beat of his frantic heart._  
  
_“Wacha doin, Son?” Crossing his legs as well, Henry playfully ruffled to top of his head. This earned a faint mixture of a whimper and a groan, further bursting another laugh that bubbled inside the dark mage’s throat. “I see you got a fun book there.” Left hand still placed at the top of Inigo’s head, Henry then gently slid his hand back until fingers slipped through the pure white strands._  
  
_Inigo didn’t reply immediately, but did give a single nod after a few seconds of silence. Twitching nervously, he glanced at the tall man before sliding his gaze forward. A couple of kids could be seen a few feet away. They were roughly Inigo’s age, of course, and this attracted the boy’s attention to just walk toward the group and befriend them._  
  
_Only problem was, the thing was easier said than done._  
  
_“Hey Dad…” Hiding both nose and mouth behind the thick book, Inigo lowered his head in defeated woe. “I’m…scared…” Easily the child confessed to his father, voice brittle as if he was about to cry at his own pathetic nature. Stifling a whimper instead, Inigo gently bumped his forehead against the hard cover of the book._  
  
_“I want to make friends…” Lowly he grumbled. “I…I want to show them this new book…” Faintly he whimpered.  Lower lip tugged upwards, the poor child bit back a cry once he heard the lively sounds of the children’s laughter. He wanted to join them, he thought. He wanted to make friends, to laugh and smile with them just as how his parents always laughed and smiled with him-_  
  
_“Ooh! I think I know what to do!”_  
  
_Once again Henry’s exuberant exclamation caught the young one off guard. Yet no matter what, he never flinched due to the fact that he was all so used to his father’s excited nature. Before Inigo had a chance to raise his head or peep a squeak, he instead popped a timid “Eh?” when he felt the book being wiggled and slid off his grasp._  
  
_“Dad?” Arms hanging for a few seconds before dropping to his lap, Inigo watched in confusion as Henry flipped through the pages. “Dad, what are you doing?” Woe quickly replaced by a rousing burst of curiosity of a child, Inigo uncrossed his legs, kneeled, and then turned to face his father. It was then that he saw Henry stopped to a certain page, letting two sets of eyes wander to an image of two dancing angels._  
  
_Henry didn’t answer immediately, yet the cheeky smile on his face was more than enough to show that he had an idea brewing. “You’ll see.” Straightening his back, the dark mage raised his right hand and began moving it in a circular motion right across the given page. Slender fingers started to wiggle and twitch as well. And in a matter of seconds, dark aura could be perfectly seen slithering right through the tips of his fingers._  
  
_Now Inigo wasn’t actually scared by the sight of this. He had seen his father perform countless magic since he was born. It was a bit scary at first, but as the years passed by, the boy soon grew more excited than scared to see Henry performing a certain spell of two._  
  
_And this was just like any other normal spell once Inigo burst a short gasp at the sight of the angels – literally – popping into life._  
  
_“Ah!” Sandy brown eyes lightened up at the miraculous sight. The angels in the book hovered across the pages, theirs fingers intertwining against each other and white, puffy wings extended to a lovely, breathtaking curve. Around and around they spun, gaze fixated one another as if the humans around them never existed in the first place. Specks of white dust flickered out of the pages, though then disappeared completely once they reached out of the corners of the book._  
  
_“Ta-da!” Proudly Henry declared, left hand that held the book stretched toward the still gawking child. “See? Now it’s a pop-up book! Ahaha!” As he handed the book toward him, Henry could feel his smile soften to one of pure admiration. How his heart always burst every time he saw his son’s smile. How his chest always huffed every time he knew he was the reason of such a blissful expression._  
  
_“Dad!” Gasping in awe, Inigo quickly directed his gaze at the tall man before dropping back at the dancing angels. “This is amazing!” Voice practically squeaking with glee, Inigo slowly raised one hand up and inched an index finger toward the floating silhouettes. Just as he had expected, his finger easily slid through one of the angel’s wings, which then formed its shape right back completely once Inigo pulled his finger back._  
  
_Excitement basically sparked in each iris, the boy once again cast a glance at his smiling father. “Thank you, Dad!” Briefly forgotten about the group of children nearby as well as his sorrow of not being able to approach them, Inigo observed the dancing angels. Small, joyful chuckles popped through his lips, each bubbling laugh thickened the crimson colour of his cheeks._  
  
_However, that temporary moment of joy popped like a bubble once he heard, “Let’s invite your new friends to see your new book!”_  
  
_Feeling as if Inigo had been dropped out of a tall tree, he swiftly gawked at his father. “W-What?” Dumbly he asked, then gulped heavily at the sight of a single nod. “B-But Dad-!” Denials and excuses were then trapped between the bars of his teeth. Knowing full well that it was pointless to deny the obvious, Inigo only dropped his head forward, trying his best to hide his embarrassment by looking at the floating, dancing angels._  
  
_He then felt that soft, assuring pat on the head._  
  
_“It’s okay, Son.” Henry’s voice was softer, gentler. “I’ll be right here with you.” The tone held no sarcasm, no bitterness. “I just know the kids will love you and your new fun book!” If anything, Inigo felt as if the voice alone was a warm hug, securely embracing him from the chill of a calm, winter night._  
  
_That soft pat turned into a ruffle, fingers nudging left and right through the short strands of his white hair. “Mm…” Hot heat kissed each cheek, Inigo only glanced upward at his father. “Well…” Again he looked at the book. The angels’ white wings poofed and fluffed, flecking out tiny feathers that fluttered down to the pages before dissolving into white specks._  
  
_The beat of his heart increased every minute, yet Inigo held firmly on his resolve._  
  
_“Okay!” Though voice a timid squeak, the child cocked his head high as if he was facing his utmost fears. Brown determined eyes glistened brightly as he saw his father’s calming yet amused laugh. Small, thin chest huffed sharply as he heard his father’s simple, yet proud, “That’s my boy!”_  
  
_—_  
  
_His parents were everything to Inigo._  
  
_Because of them, Inigo learned how to be brave and face his fears, even if did take some time facing some. Because of them, Inigo learned how to laugh and smile easily, finding joy even in the simplest of things. Because of them, Inigo held the determination to makes others laugh, to make others smile, showing the world that there truly was something beautiful living the life they lived._  
  
_Because of them, Inigo felt safe, felt secured; they were his heroes, his saviours._  
  
_However, after that one fateful day, everything that Inigo held and thought dear only crumbled completely, revealing a bitter, vile road that he would soon walk all by his own._  
  
_An air of blood and flesh thickened the atmosphere. It made his throat gag in sheer nausea. It made his stomach churn in complete agony. The poor child only gawked at his surroundings. A few bodies could be seen piled up on the dusty ground. Some remained motionless with limbs and heads still intact. Some had already lost their body parts, basking either a twisted stomach or even an arm that gaped wide, bloodily open._  
  
_Thick smoke lingered in the disgusting air as well, disrupting the poor boy’s vision until he had to swat some of it away. His whole arms shook pitifully. His legs trembled like jelly. Yet Inigo braved himself – he dreadfully had to – as he walked around the bloodbath._  
  
_“D-Dad…?” His voice was a mere peep, tone barely audible for even himself to hear. “D…Dad…?” Again he called for him, choking out a single cough as well at the taste of bitter smoke rasping down his throat._  
  
_He then heard something, mumbling of sorts that echoed nearby. Inigo froze momentarily once he recognized the voice. The words chanted out weren’t understandable in the least, but a smile slowly trickled up his mouth when he knew who it was._  
  
_“Dad…” Without a moment’s hesitance, Inigo ran past the bodies. Squish-!He accidentally stepped on something soft and slippery, yet Inigo only gulped down his nausea and ran faster, trying his best to ignore the horror that had dispelled right in his very yard-_  
  
_He then stopped once he saw Henry’s back._  
  
_However, for the first time in his life, Inigo actually felt afraid at the presence of his father._  
  
_Purple smoke spiraled eerily around the dark mage. The black robe that he loved to wear whipped violently, revealing his shoes that remained firm on the ground. A small crater had been formed around the tall man, the hole horrifyingly filled with blood and bones of the decapitated. One hand could be seen raised in the air, fingers cracked and bent in unnerving shapes as he waved around. The other hand firmly held the dark tome, holding it in place as more and more black soot huffed and puffed from the pages._  
  
_The voice was his father’s, but it sounded too guttural, too rough, slurred with such a rasped tone that crackled shivers down the boy’s spine. More and more and more the child heard him, listening to melodies of hissed out incantations that even he had never heard before. Each odd syllable felt like needles piercing into the child’s clear skin. Each haunting sentence felt like knives twisting into the poor bloody heart._  
  
_Inigo only froze in one place. Fear had disabled his entire nerve system. He wanted to move. He wanted to run. He wanted to scream even, to yell at this terrifying monster that this wasn’t Henry, to bellow at the top of his lungs to leave his father alone._  
  
_But instead he slid one step backwards, then another, and another._  
  
Squish.  
  
_Once the heel of his foot pressed something soft, Inigo felt as if Death itself had faced him._  
  
_Quickly Henry turned his head, widened eyes and dotted pupils sharply glaring over his shoulder. Gone was his smile that always flashed his face. Gone was his laugh that always echoed about. All that revealed were splotches of red. All that could be seen was a tight, straight line of a mouth._  
  
_But most of all, all that Inigo could see was the manic gleam of his father’s iris; a disgusting, deranged colour of bloodstained crimson._  
  
_As for Henry, “Inigo.” was all that came out, the name itself breaking him out of his psychotic trance. Those few precious seconds were all it took to make him realize who it was. Those few precious seconds were all it took to instill horror at the reality of it all._  
  
_“Inigo.” Again Henry muttered, tone much more even than a breath ago. Quickly the purple smoke dispelled into thin air. Quickly the harsh wind that had howled so viciously silenced without a mere peep. His right hand dropped to the side, though left swiftly snapping the tome in a single shut before bringing it closer to his chest._  
  
_Inigo didn’t respond a peep._  
  
_And this truly worried Henry._  
  
_“Hey…” The dark mage’s voice was hoarse, too hoarse, yet Henry only sucked a deep breath before slowly walking toward him. “Are you okay, Son?” The question itself sounded inaudible. “Did- Are you hurt…?” Slowly and slowly his voice became clearer, holding a tone that held broken calmness and forced relief._  
  
_Inigo only remained silent, unmoving, gawking as Henry stood before him._  
  
_And this, this honestly, terrifyingly distressed the man._  
  
_“Hey…” Again his voice wavered, jaw hanging slightly before lips hesitantly pursed to a shut. “Everything’s okay now…” The corners of his mouth tugging, forcing a smile that felt all too heavy, Henry raised his right hand and calmly stretched it toward Inigo. “You don’t need to be scared any-”_  
  
_Henry stopped the moment he saw Inigo cringe at his approaching touch._  
  
_His fingers were only inches away from the boy’s left cheek, which then hovered and stilled completely as if he had been frozen from head to toe. Deep crimson eyes gawked as he saw Inigo squeezing his eyes shut. Chapped, nude lips parted open as he saw the poor boy tremble viciously._  
  
_The white bangs of his hair stuck to his forehead, shielding parts of his eyes, hiding away the horror and despair that began to glisten at the corners._  
  
_After what felt like hours, Inigo slowly peeked with one eye open. Shivering hands cupped together and brought close to his maniacally beating heart, Inigo saw as his father looked away. D…ad… was the first thing that popped into his mind. Dad… was the only thing that spiraled around in his tangled thoughts._  
  
_The silence killed him, agonizing him to a point where normal breathing felt unbearable to Inigo. His eyes then slid to the side, observing Henry’s hand that was slowly being pulled away before plopping by his side._  
  
_The silence was terrible. The silence began to choke wires around his neck._  
  
_Feeling hot tears coating inside his eyes, Inigo gasped a breath before looking at his still father. “Da-”_  
  
_His voice was a faint, dying squeak, and it was as well easily cut off once Henry calmly – painfully – declared, “Come on, Son. It’s not safe here.”_  
  
_Inigo then heard a laugh._  
  
_But compared to the many times he heard his father, this laugh was painful, excruciating, huffed out in a way that pierced sharp, bloody thorns into his heart._  
  
_—_  
  
_Since that horrible day, Inigo realized that he had unwarily kept his distance between his own father._  
  
_He didn’t mean to. Honest he didn’t. But every time he was anywhere near Henry, every time he stood close to the man, Inigo felt fear rushing into his veins. His body would be still. His breath would hitch in his throat. Even his heart felt like it had stopped, forcing the poor child to gasp or wheeze every now and then when he remembered that frightful day._  
  
_And every time Inigo felt like holding his hand, wanting his small hand to be cupped by the touch of his father’s, Inigo only stopped, letting the back of his knuckles hover right across the dark mage’s._  
  
_Henry didn’t say or respond to the matter as well. While he did his best in protecting his family, he basically, agonizingly and hesitantly, forged a distance between his own child. The man still laughed. The man still smiled._  
  
_However, under all that cheerful exterior, after what felt like a hundred years, Henry unwarily built back the wall that was once broken by his beloved wife._  
  
_That being said, this time, instead of protecting himself from the cruel, gruesome world that had tainted him as a child, Henry did so with one motive and one motive only: to protect his family from the ruined, despicable monster he only ever was._  
  
_—_  
  
_The months that had rolled by didn’t make it any better for neither Henry nor Inigo._  
  
_That dreadful encounter between father and child was only the beginning; in less than a few weeks, Risen began to haunt the lands. Bandits and rouges weren’t completely human as well, either tainted by dark magic or controlled against their will by an unseen force. Many innocent lives began to disappear in a blink of an eye. Many ear-pitching shrills echoed about above the soon grim sky. Blood and bones began to splash like thick, nauseated water. Flesh and nerves began to burst like beautiful, haunting fireworks._  
  
_And sadly, much to the poor child’s dismay, he had the opportunity to witness, to be a participant in this vile, horrifying show of their future._  
  
_Faster and faster Olivia ran, her legs wiggling and feet slipping every now and then. Yet the dancer only picked up the pace, sprinting as quickly as her legs could manage from the terrible fate that unraveled for them. White, hot tears continued to stream down her flushed, torn cheeks. White teeth chattered loudly and terribly, yet Olivia did all that she could not to bellow out a shriek that would shatter her eardrums._  
  
_Inigo only remained eerily silent in her arms, his own arms slumped on her shoulders and head tilted to the side as if his soul had left his body. The poor child only gawked forward. The poor child only stared at the horror of what would be the end of his happy life._  
  
_“-ad…” The word uttered out to a faint, choked gasp. “D…ad…” As vision began to sharpen, Inigo then saw the puffs of smoke. The cloud was thick, black, covering the area entirely until all he could see was the giant fog itself._  
  
_But no. Just when an agonizing headache throbbed inside Inigo like a hammer to the head, just when his brown eyes pooled to violent shades of red, the boy saw him; he could see the man that stood among a crowd of hungry, bloodthirsty Risen._  
  
_“D-D-ad-” Horribly he stuttered, stammered until his teeth accidentally ripped the insides of his cheeks. “DAD!” As if he had finally recollected his senses, Inigo stretched his left hand forward. “DAD NO NO_ NOOO! _” Again and again and again he shrieked, desperately hoping that the pitiful scream alone could bring his father back._  
  
_But sadly, that day was the day he knew Inigo deserved nothing from this cruel, unforgiving world._  
  
_As Inigo witnessed the entire situation until it disappeared from his peripheral vision, the last thing he could distinguish was the image of his father’s back._  
  
—  
  
 “-ni-o…”  
  
 He cried and he cried, voice more and more audible until it almost evolved to a full-blown wail.  
  
 “I-i…g-”  
  
 Head had been dropped forward, Inigo only raked his face with dull nails. His whole body began to tremble weakly. His own heart began to slam against his ribcage.  
  
  _I’m sorry…_ was all that he could think of. _I’m sorry…I’m sorry…_ Over and over again that thought danced around his mind. Over and over again it pricked needles into his bloodily beating heart. _Oh Gods Dad I’m –o…s-so…sor-_  
  
 “Hey, Inigo.”  
  
 Inigo then froze once he felt someone grasping his right hand.  
  
 Quickly he looked forward, only to then gawk like a stupefied fool at the sight of his father.  
  
 Feeling more and more concern at every flowing breath, Henry quickly rose from his stool and walked around the table. “Hey, what’s wrong, Son?” His left hand still cupping his right, the sorcerer stood before the silent, baffled swordmaster. “Are you cursed? Are you hurt?” Leaning a bit closer, Henry brought his other hand up and gently placed it on top of Inigo’s head. “Aw, Inigo, why are you cry-?”  
  
 The question left as a gasp once he felt Inigo stand up and pounce him for a tight hug.  
  
 “Waah!” Shock causing that exclamation to burst without a thought, Henry only slid a step back at the sudden force. “I-Inigo?” Dull grey eyes slid to the side, dumbly gawking at the weeping swordmaster.  
  
 “I’m sorry.”  
  
 Well, as if his little hug attack didn’t startle Henry enough.  
  
 “I-I’m sorry…” Voice cracked by the flow of his own sobs, Inigo nuzzled woefully against the sorcerer’s right shoulder. “Oh Gods Dad I’m s-so…sor…ry…” Body trembling as if a wicked cold had pierced his very bones, he loosened his hug and suddenly dropped to his knees.  
  
 Still, his right hand tightly held Henry’s hand, gripping, squeezing, fingers locked around the palm as if Inigo was about to lose him if he let go.  
  
  _His hand is warm._ His grip remained firm as Inigo nuzzled against the back of it. _His hand is warm… He… Dad’s a-alive…_ More sobs cracked between the tight clench of his teeth. _Dad’s h-hand- A-Alive-_ Eyes squeezed shut, Inigo only wept shamelessly, gulping down a scream that more than once tried to break itself free through the tight purse of his lips.  
  
 “I’m sorry…” Instead that sentence fumbled out again, thickening his tears that trickled faster down his cheeks. “Dads I-I’m s-sor-”  
  
 He froze once Inigo felt his body being pulled to a hug.  
  
 Distracted by his own emotional turmoil, Inigo hadn’t realized that Henry had kneeled in front of him. “There there…” Gently pulling the swordmaster’s head closer to his chest, he once again patted the top of his son’s head with the other hand. “It’s okay, Inigo. Dad’s here…” Mouth curled to a woeful smile, Henry pressed a soft kiss to the top of his head. “I don’t know what’s happened in your future, but whatever it is, I know future me has long forgiven you.”  
  
 Inigo could feel his heart cracking at the heartbreaking statement. “B-But…” His voice whimpered weakly, though words only broke down to more sobs as he nuzzled into his father’s chest.  
  
 He heard more and more soft shushes from him. “There, there…” Tighter Inigo felt his embrace, one arm already wrapped around the back of his head.  
  
 “Remember how I said I can feel my and Olivia’s life force in you?” Henry asked, voice a tad cheerful and lively as he tried to calm the weeping swordmaster. “I meant what I said, you know.” _Pat pat_ , he gently tapped his head. “Every moment you’re alive is a moment I feel what future me is feeling.” Slowly pulling away, his smile softened to one of assurance as he looked at the confused child. “And I know future me never wants to see you cry or feel terrible about what’s happened.” An index finger gingerly brushed away the tears under his eyes, his right thumb then playfully tapping against the soft, warm cheek. “So don’t cry, Inigo. You deserve to be happy just like everyone else.”  
  
 Sandy brown eyes were as wide as they could be, tears finally ceased their trickling from the corners. Blinking once, twice, Inigo then huffed another whimper before leaning against his chest again. “O-Okay…” His voice still cracked, but the word was now understandable once Inigo took a deep breath. “Thanks…Dad…”  
  
 He felt Henry’s chest rumble softly as well as heard his fatherly laugh. Oh how Inigo missed it so much; his voice, his touch, him.  
  
 “Ah, isn’t that Lucina over there?”  
  
 That quite moment of comfort immediately burst like fireworks once Inigo heard his next words.  
  
 And what’s worse, upon realizing that his eyes were still red with tears and cheeks flushed like a newborn baby, Inigo quickly fumbled out of his father’s hug before swiftly wiping away any traces of tears with his left hand. “Oh no oh no oh no!” In a panic he shook his head, brain even popping the idea of just running away so that his little – yet very obvious – crush wouldn’t see him-  
  
 All sorts of ideas and suggestion crashed against a mental wall when Inigo heard roaring laughter.  
  
 And even though he didn’t look up, a new, brighter shade of red splashed his face down to the base from his neck when he figured everything out.  
  
 “DAD!” Loudly he shrieked – squeaked, rather – as Inigo cocked his head up. Much to his embarrassment, Henry only laughed louder, the sorcerer’s right hand lazily flapping in the air.  
  
 “I’m just teasing, Son.” Huffing out the bits of his laughter, Henry playfully ruffled the white strands of his son’s hair before hopping back to his feet. “Come on!” As much as he wasn’t that physically strong, Henry was still able to pull Inigo back up. “Let’s go find your Mom! I haven’t seen her for an hour and I miss her already. Ahaha!” Cheeks a vibrant shade of red by his own confession, the sorcerer happily skipped forward, all the tugging Inigo along with his left hand still cupping his own.  
  
 Quite baffled and still very embarrassed by his own father’s teasing, Inigo only let himself be pulled. As they walked, a small trace of a smile could finally be seen by the edges of his mouth.  
  
  _Dad’s hand is warm_ , he blessed, _Dad is alive…_  
  
 A few more tears were then felt at the corners of his eyes. Only this time, those tears were accompanied by a growing smile.  
  
  _Thank you, Dad…_ Tilting his head forward, Inigo blew out a trembling, albeit thankful sigh. _I love you so much…_  
  
**END**

**Author's Note:**

> "let inigo be happy," i say as i continuously write him in agonizing moments


End file.
